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“It depends on how his wife takes it,” says Weston. And it depends on his level of sincerity about how he will treat her in the future.I’ve seen marriages get to a really good place when an affair has been exposed because a whole lot of truth is revealed and conversation that should have happened before does happen.” Too often married couples stop seeing marriage as an arena for the truth. Any man who has ever been on the receiving end of that question, whether dodging crockery or wiping away his wife’s tears, knows that some women really want an answer.Do men who cheat really outnumber their female counterparts?

That’s difficult.” Since many divorces still arise from an act of infidelity, cheating can be a man’s way of pulling the plug on a marriage he’s lost interest in.

A man may feel tempted to respond to that energy; it may feel complimentary and sexy to him.

Or sometimes there is a little dysfunction at home, and he feels like he is checking out his equipment in another place.” Weston says that she is always interested in what led a man to cross the line — when that no suddenly became a yes. “Sometimes a man will say it was a moment of conviction in which he felt that things would never get better between him and his wife, a sense of hopelessness.” Can an unfaithful husband who wants to save his marriage change his ways?

Can counseling, for instance, get a man to stop cheating?

“I don’t think anyone can be made to do anything,” says Epstein. More choices are apparent when you are aware of what is motivating you.” A lot of men, he has found in practice, cheat in the same way an alcoholic relapses.

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